rusrus.com . Fantasy Football . FF2k4 . Newsletters . Week 7

Holy crap, I suck!
In an unprecedented whooping, Big Russ lost in week 7. Big Russ' score of 14 was the absolute worst in rusrus.com Fantasy Football history (at least since 2001 - that's how far my records go back to...). LZ Historians were the luck team on the other end of the self-ass-kicking, but performed quite nicely with 93 points. The margin of victory (79 points) was also quite good, but not the best. For that we have to go back to the year 2002 - week 4. The game was The Ball Busters versus The Drunken Punks. The Ball Busters 145 points over The Drunken Punks 53 points provided a 92 point margin of victory: the highest so far... Whew, I really dodged another claim to shame...

Additionally, I get to pony-up the $5 "loser prize: this week.

Monkeys Continue to Roll: Over Loungers in Week 7
The Trunk Monkeys continue their march to victory in week 7 with a 99 to 92 victory over the Long Eared Loungers. Wouldn't you know it - as soon as the Loungers post a decent total, in-comes Shawn Franz and his rabid Monkeys to take it away... Poor Loungers - especially in a week where Daunte Culpepper acts like a mortal quarterback.

The Loungers look to get back on track in week 8 against an under-powered G-Man's Coast Guard of Light. Trunk Monkeys hope to bitch-slap Big Russ into a seventh straight win.

G-Man Receives the Kiss of Death
Cue the mandolin...

Fast Eddie's Hired Goons gave G-Man an offer he couldn't refuse in week 7 - an offer to "take one for the family." Fast Eddie was victorious over G-Man 98 to 76. Upon further review of the stats, there was nothing that G-Man could have done to avoid the beating. When Donovan McNabb came to the field for the Goons, out came the baseball bats - G-man is now lying in a shallow grave in a cornfield (a la Casino).

Week 8 provides hope; however, G-Man will take-on last place Long Eared Loungers in a confidence booster. Although, a week 8 loss to the Loungers will shatter G-Man's fragile ego - prepare the Kleenex. Fast Eddie will face The Ball Busters in week 8. Who knows what will happen?

Drunken Punks Allow Rear-Entry
The Drunken Punks, a previous fantasy football juggernaut, allowed universally hated Smokin' Bonecrushers to walk all over him - there have even been reports of "posterior familiarity." The Bonecrushers 116 points were enough to earn the $5 in week 7. All Wheeler's players performed well on Sunday - they're all trying to appeal to other league owners as trade bait.

The Drunken Punks, on the other hand, fumbled with the Steve McNair coaching decision. From his hospital bed, McNair cried "I was able to throw for two yards. I think Roecker's asking too much from me." If you check the Punks bench, you'll find Drew Brees and David Carr - things are definitely not well in the produce section...

Ball Busters Luck into First Victory in Weeks
The Ball Busters win in week 7: 80 to 79. This marks the first Ball Buster victory since week 1. What was the secret? Curtis Martin. Curtis Martin rushed for 70 yards exactly. If Martin ruched for only 69 yards, Rich would have lost in the tiebreaker. Thanks to Curtis Martin, The Ball Busters have broken the chain of losses (a league high five in a row) and have turned the corner in the Orange Division. With the Orange Division leadership all over the map (three teams tied at 4-3, The Ball Busters might actually have a chance for glory).

The Kama Sutra Kobras, on the other hand, could not have edged past the Ball Busters. All the Kobra players activated were the correct decisions. Perhaps it was just Rich's time to win... Kobras can really make their presence known in a week 8 battle for first place against The Drunken Punks. The winner will have first place.